Staring into the Abyss is Not Good For One’s Health

I might be on hiatus for a bit.  I’m going much the way of Kevin

The Abyss overall has been taking it’s toll on me as late.  I mentioned it briefly over at Robb’s place this morning.  Seeing all the abuses and nanny state legislation the government has been doing as of late and the overall apathetic response of the general public and the media is depressing.  Looking deep into the Abyss (reading the gun blogs, watching what is happening, and the response or lack thereof) it has be come obvious that the abyss is equivalent to a black hole.  You see, hope and faith in your fellow man is sucked in to never be seen or heard from again.  The longer you stare, the more miserable and depressed you get.  No matter how hard you try, hope and faith are destroyed, squashed to a singularity so small it can never be seen again.

The wife still remains unemployed thanks to the ass hats at her previous job.  She had a decent job in Moscow, but quit that one and took a job in Pullman mainly because the commute was better and no income tax for a state we don’t actually live in.  After 4 weeks they fired her abruptly stating her disability as the excuse.  I actually think it was the union that had her fired.  She was the first one to ever challenge being forced to join the union.  Couple that with how oddly abrupt the termination was:  She was informed on Friday that she would be receiving training on Monday, Monday morning after being there for 2 hours she was told her services were no longer needed and she could either work the rest of her shift or leave immediately.  No notice, no warning, nothing, it wasn’t even her boss who delivered the news.  The person who did has since left the company along with many others.  We’re squeaking by, but it’s stressful and infuriating.  We’re paying her student loans on two degrees that have proven to be worthless.  We have tried to find a lawyer to talk to about it but to no avail. 

Couple that with the fact I’ve been starting to stress over a project at work.  I’m the sole sap they got to “volunteer” for the project.  More specifically they made it look like cookies and candy to a small kid, but the deeper I get into the project the more I’m discovering it was a “ruse”.  The project idea is awesome, I love the potential, their solution and route sucks.  I’m now spending time and effort to try and make what’s best for all parties involved happen.  Let’s just say this involves me expending a lot of effort and doing things well above my pay grade without any promise of compensation.  Worse yet my whole effort can just be brushed aside and deemed the irrelevant work of some inexperienced engineer.  It is de-motivational at times to say the least and some of the people I used to work with are starting to notice my frustration.  It’s the classic business managers can’t see or understand why doing X would be better in the long run, instead they want to copy Y since that will leverage our existing work.  Y was developed by another group and never intended to work in this role. 

So all this extra stress has finally done something that I don’t remember ever happening before.  Within a month I have gotten sick a second time.  Normally I will only get sick maybe once a year.  Last time I really got sick like this was just before my dad passed away.  When I started getting sick this time it is quite familiar in feeling and I’m reasonably sure I am having a Mono flare up due to stress.  I was struggling to stay awake today and mid-last week I had some other symptoms that I ignored but it all fits together now.

So there it is, I have a trifecta of stress that is at this point literally causing me to be ill.  As I can control the first one, albeit only somewhat, I can do things to help limit the stress created by it.  There’s not much else I can do about the other two.  I like writing stuff up, but lately I find myself getting angry and frustrated as I do so.  I’ll try and put up unrelated stuff but I make no guarantees.

Barron is the owner, editor, and principal author at The Minuteman, a competitive shooter, and staff member for Boomershoot. Even in his free time he’s merging his love and knowledge of computers and technology with his love of firearms.

He has a BS in electrical engineering from Washington State University. Immediately after college he went into work on embedded software and hardware for use in critical infrastructure. This included cryptographic communications equipment as well as command and control devices that were using that communications equipment. Since then he’s worked on just about everything ranging from toys, phones, other critical infrastructure, and even desktop applications. Doing everything from hardware system design, to software architecture, to actually writing software that makes your athletic band do its thing.

About Barron

Barron is the owner, editor, and principal author at The Minuteman, a competitive shooter, and staff member for Boomershoot. Even in his free time he’s merging his love and knowledge of computers and technology with his love of firearms. He has a BS in electrical engineering from Washington State University. Immediately after college he went into work on embedded software and hardware for use in critical infrastructure. This included cryptographic communications equipment as well as command and control devices that were using that communications equipment. Since then he’s worked on just about everything ranging from toys, phones, other critical infrastructure, and even desktop applications. Doing everything from hardware system design, to software architecture, to actually writing software that makes your athletic band do its thing.
Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Staring into the Abyss is Not Good For One’s Health

  1. Kevin Baker says:

    Seriously!

    Do what you have to do, man. And I wish you and your wife luck.

    • Barron Barnett says:

      It was one of those things where you said it and I went, “that’s a good freaking idea.” I set a goal at the beginning of the year for a post a day. I’ve actually been really good at maintaining that, but I’ve noticed sometimes it’s easier to find content than others. The stuff that you can always find content on is pretty depressing cause it’s static. Yeah new stuff comes up and all you can say is, well no surprise there.

      The abyss is depressing no doubt about it. I think I’m just going to stop hunting for extra depressing for a bit. If I come across something in my normal blog roll worth commenting on I’ll be all over it. I’ve been staring into the negative for long enough now it’s starting to eat at me and I’m normally a pretty happy guy, not so much as of late. I’ve found myself very much on the half-empty side of the debate and I prefer to be in the middle. When you find yourself on one side predominately over another I find that often my imagination is no where near as creative because it’s stuck dealing with the issue from one side.

      I’ll be back, I’ll blog on other stuff in the mean time. Ultimately this is good I bothered to notice now, I am one of those people I will keep going even if it’s detrimental to my health. If I set a goal I follow through, now I’m just going to have to find a stop gap to meet the goal while not staring into the abyss.

  2. Davidwhitewolf says:

    Heh, and here I thought y’all were going dark because you had Big Things planned, and we RNS kids weren’t invited.

    As for anti-abyss, not to pull out the “guy on a white horse” idea, but if you step back and think about the implications of a guy who wrote this book here just ’cause he wanted to write it http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00495ZDUO?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&ref_=pd_irl_gw now being at the head of the pack for President, well, our body politic ain’t that bad off yet.

    The full implications of the Tea Party movement haven’t begun to be felt, is all I’m saying.

    Put another way: I think you both know how pessimistic I am, and yet I still believe California’s going to end up just fine over the next decade. Bumpy ride to get there, but fine.

  3. Linoge says:

    Take a break if you need to, and especially take a break if weblogging is actively contributing to your stress and physical ailments… That is the glory of RSS feeds – we will be here when you come back :).

  4. Davidwhitewolf says:

    I commented before reading below the fold. When blogging stops being fun and becomes a duty or chore it’s time to take a break. Your avocations should not cause you stress! Connie and I send our best wishes to you and Janelle. Hang in there!

  5. Random Nuclear Strikes &ra says:

    […] doom-n-gloom circulating among my favorite gunbloggers these days. First Kevin closes shop, then Barron follows suit, Breda’s muttering threats of packing up, ai yi […]