So I always had an idea of where the term Mall-Ninja came from. I just never fully understood why the Mistress of Snark would always refer to them and “Food Court Team Six“. While one can easily draw the conclusions necceassary for the snark to still be hilarious, the history allows it to be even more so.
Here is a small glimmer into an awesome piece of history that thoroughly explains the Mall-Ninja meme. I must warn you though, do not drink liquids while sitting at your computer while reading this. I will not be held liable for any damages that may occur.
It’s okay for me to talk about my job, as long as I’m not specific. I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas. [And here the myth begins”] Although there are typically between fifteen and twenty normal security officers working the beat there, we decided a while ago that it would be best to have a specilized force for violent individuals. We use modified electric vehicles and can be anywhere on a given floor within eight and a half minutes.Naturally, the regular security people are unarmed. We “RTFers”, by arrangement with the local police, carry high-strength OC spray and batons. If we have a full tactical alert and permission from the local LEOs we also have a Mossberg 500 with less-lethal rounds and two K-frame Smith .38s loaded with 158gr. LRN.Basically, the situation is that we get the call, we lock up the situation, put everything five by five, and cordon the area until the local authorities arrive. We’re cops, we just don’t get the glory.
The amount of facepalming that can occur while reading that is epic as well.
h/t David at RNS