Uncle a while ago posted something about the Green Police Audi Super Bowl ad. I fell over laughing at the “Ford Earthfucker” statement and immediately wanted to add my trucks to the list. Phil was able to add his truck however all three of my rigs are work rigs and in the environment where I live, even not working they get a nice coat of dust. Well, today I was finally able to clean all three and set them up for a picture.
There is Earthfucker Sr. on the left. A 1997 F350 with a 460 under the hood, and gets me a whopping 11.5 MPG highway, around 9 towing anything serious. In the middle is Earthfucker lite. A 2008 Ford Explorer and gets around 20 mpg on the highway, with the hills around here though more like 18.5-19.5 depending on how I feel like driving. Lastly is Earthfucker Jr. A 2010 F350 Super Duty, with a 6.4 liter Powerstroke diesel and a manual transmission. That gets around 20 MPG highway, and can pull my boat up the Lewiston grade at 75 mph with room to keep going.
Many have given me crap about having three large working vehicles. However given the winters around here at times, I don’t want a small car. I want a vehicle that will get me from point A to B without letting me down. The previous Earthfucker lite performed remarkably when my wife walked away from a serious rollover after hitting black ice. We had a small car once during winter, never again. I might feel differently if I didn’t live in the middle of nowhere and have this strong desire towards self reliance. I spend a lot of time during winter helping pull people out and throw up flares at accidents. The large vehicles do not equal being able to fly around, it’s just the ground clearance, power, and weight helps if you’re patient and know how to drive in snow. I could drive a small car, but it’s not my skills I’m worried about, it’s the other people on the road. Especially college students, hence the bull killer on senior.
TMM is the owner, editor, and principal author at The Minuteman, a competitive shooter, and staff member for Boomershoot. Even in his free time he’s merging his love and knowledge of computers and technology with his love of firearms.
Many know his private name and information however due to the current political climate, many are distancing themselves due to the abandonment of Due Process.